Falling Through Open Doors
by write321forever
Summary: Bella has a stage name, Amy Lee, and a band called Evanescence. This takes place during New Moon. Enjoy!
1. My Immortal

No matter how much I try to forget, no matter how many weeks it has been...he's still here, in my mind.

And that's what all my songs are based on.

The band basicaly started because of him. He inspired me to take piano lessons.

So as I take the stage and hear the crowd chanting, "Evanescence!" I know that it's time to begin pouring out my life to them.

_I'm so tired of being here,_

_Supressed by all my childish fears._

I always had fear that he'd leave me. And he did.

_And if you have to leave,_

_I wish that you would just leave._

_'Cause your presence still lingers here,_

_And it won't leave me alone._

I feel him everywhere. In my nightmares, when I do stupid and dangerous things...

_And these wounds won't seem to heal,_

_This pain is just too real,_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase._

The emotional wounds he left, the pain that is always present...it doesn't matter that it's been four months. I'll always live with it.

_When you'd cry I'd wipe away all of your tears._

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears._

_And I held your hand through all of these years._

I feel like that's him saying all that to me when I sing those lines.

_But you still have all of me._

I am his love. That's whose love I am, not anyone else's.

_You used to captivate me by your resignating light,_

_Now I'm bound by the life you left behind._

He used to light up my life. But now I'm lost in everything he left behind.

_Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams._

_Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me._

When he was here, my dreams were all about him and happy. But now they've turned into nightmares and he haunts them.

_And these wounds won't seem to heal,_

_This pain is just too real,_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase._

_When you'd cry I'd wipe away all of your tears._

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your tears._

_And I held your hand through all of these years._

_But you still have all of me._

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone,_

_But though you're still with me._

He left, but I seems like his life is in my hands and I can't do anything with it.

_I've been alone all along._

I've given up hope that he'll ever come back.

The band comes in and we finish it off with the chorus. The audience applauds, my diary entry of a song satisfying them.

As I leave the piano bench and go to get some water, Terry says, "Good job, Amy."

Amy. My stage name. It makes me feel like Hannah Montana, but that's what I have to do to keep everything under control.

John gives me a thumbs-up sign.

If only I could share the happiness with them.


	2. Hello

I'm back at the piano. This song that I'm about to play is so personal. It's about the night he left me. It's all piano, no other instruments.

_Playground, school bell rings again._

_Rainclouds come to play again._

It was on a rainy night. The rain had added to my tears.

_Has no one told you she's not breathing?_

All air left my chest as I laid down in the forest of Forks.

_I'm your mind,_

_Giving you someone to talk to, hello._

My mind says to leave him and continue my life, but my heart won't let me. My mind is trying to say hello to my heart and to get it to wake up to what's going on, but my heart won't have any of it.

_If I smile and don't believe,_

_Soon I know I'll wake from this dream._

It's all going to end. Or is that just what I hope?

_Don't try to fix me,_

_I'm not broken._

That's one big lie. I'm completely broken.

_I'm the lie living for you so you can hide,_

_Don't cry._

I wear a mask constantly. I've created a lie to live under so I don't have to face everything.

_Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping, hello._

_I'm still here._

_All that's left of yesterday._

It's not a dream. It's a nightmare that I'll never wake up from because I live in it. I'm here, and he is my yesterday, my past. I need to live in the present and go on with the future.

But I don't think I can.

Terry, John, Rocky, and Will are all there when I get off the stage, giving me high-fives. I put on a smile, though I'm only happy because I'm with people who care about me. The song took my heart.


	3. Going Under

The next song is about what happened in Phoinex in the ballet studio.

_Now I will tell you what I've done for you._

_Fifty thousand tears I've cried._

I've wasted my tears because I thought he loved me.

_Screaming, deceiving, and bleeding for you._

I was injured and bled out so much just for his safety. I guess he didn't care for mine.

_But you still won't hear me._

_Don't want your hand this time,_

_I'll save myself._

I tried to run, but I couldn't do it. James caught me.

_Maybe I'll wake up for once._

But I couldn't do that. He had to come save me.

_Not tourmented daily, defeated by you._

Thought what I feared would tourment me then ended up happening-him leaving me.

_Just when I thought I'd reach the bottom._

_I'm dying again._

_I'm going under._

_Drowning in you._

_I'm falling forever._

As clumsy as I am, I would have never inflicted that much harm on myself as with what James did to me.

_I've got to break through._

As much as I had tried, I couldn't save myself. That's what he had to do.

_Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies._

_So I don't know what's real and what's not._

_Always confusing the thoughts in my head._

_So I can't trust myself anymore._

Everything has puzzled me. One day he was saying he loved me, and the next he said that he was over me and he was leaving me.

We went throught the chorus again.

_So go on and scream, scream at me, I'm so far away._

I know you said that I shouldn't go running off to James.

_I won't be broken again._

_I've got to breathe, I can't keep going under._

But I fall into a trap.

The chorus goes around again and the song ends.

I put on a brave face and smile along with me bandmates.

"Thank you guys! You rock!" I yell through the microphone.


	4. Sweet Sacrifice

This song right now is what Jacob has been doing for me-getting me to move on.

_It's true,_

_We're all a little insane._

Especially me for loving you.

_But it's so clear,_

_Now that I'm unchained._

I'm free from his fake love.

_Fear is only in our minds,_

_Taking over all the time._

_Fear is only in our minds,_

_But it's taking over all the time._

I have nothing to fear anymore.

_You poor, sweet, innocent thing,_

_Dry your eyes and testify._

_You know you live to break me,_

_Don't deny, sweet sacrifice._

Go on and live your life. I'll live mine.

_One day, I'm gonna forget your name._

_And one sweet day, you're gonna drown in my lost pain._

I'll be healed one day, you'll see.

The chorus blasts again and I rock out.

_Do you wonder why you hate?_

_Are you still too weak,_

_To survive your mistakes?_

Did he make a mistake in leaving me?

We end the song in a bit.

This number really makes me think. Am I over him? The answer to that is no. But I'm getting over him. And that's the best I can do right now.


	5. Tourniquet

I cut myself off from the world. And this song shows that.

_I tried to kill the pain,_

_But only brought more (so much more)._

I became a zombie to block the pain out, but it only brought back more memories.

_I lay dying,_

_And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal._

Meatphorically speaking, of course. Everything that has happened to me has poured out.

_I'm dying, praying._

_Bleeding, and screaming._

I lay awake every night, muffling my screaming with my pillows.

_Am I too lost,_

_To be saved?_

_Am I too lost?_

Will anything ever be the same?

_My god, my tourniquet._

_Return to me salvation._

_My god, my tourniquet._

_Return to me salvation._

Give me my life back. I need to live fully and freely.

_Do you remember me?_

_Lost for so long._

_Will you be on the other side,_

_Or will you forget me?_

Do you still remember me? Or am I just a faint glimpse of the past?

_I'm dying, praying._

_Bleeding, and screaming._

_Am I too lost to be saved?_

_Am I too lost?_

_My go, my tourniquet._

_Return to me salvation._

_My god, my tourniquet._

_Return to me salvation._

And than I prepare myself for the shriek.

_I LONG TOO DIE!_

I want to emotionally die. That's what he has driven me to.

_My god, my tourniquet._

_Return to me salvation._

_My wounds cry for the grave._

Physical pain heals, but emotional pain will never leave me.

_My soul cries for deliverence._

Only my body lives on.

_Will I be denied, Christ?_

_Tourniquet, my suicide._

I've basically committed emotional suicide. I've let my feelings get the best of me.


	6. Imaginary

I need a rush of adrenaline to see him. To imagine him.

_Ah, paper flowers._

_Ah, paper flowers._

In the meadow, filled with trees and flowers...

_I linger in the doorway,_

_Of alarm clocks screaming,_

_Monsters calling my name._

I'm waiting for my hallucination.

_Let me stay,_

_Where the wind will whisper to me._

I'm always in my bedroom at night with the window open for you, but all I get is the wind whispering to me, giving me nightmares.

_Where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story._

_In my field of paper flowers,_

_And candy clowds of lullaby._

I imagine him playing my lullaby on the piano, or at least humming it, every night.

_I lie inside myself for hours._

_And watch my purple sky fly over me._

You know how bruises are purple? I'm referring to emotional bruises. So my purple bruises haunt me all the time.

_Don't say I'm out of touch._

I'm right here if you want me. Come out of the hallucination.

_With this rapid chaos, your reality._

_I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge._

_The nightmare I built my own world to escape._

I've created a zombie out of me and I'm living in a whole new world. But everything outside is reality, and that's a nightmare.

The chorus plays again.

_Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming._

_Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights._

I swallow my scream at night and I'm unable to sleep.

_Oh, how I long for the deep sleep dreaming._

_The goddess of imaginary light._

I try to sleep every night, but I'm just not able to. I've grown dark circles under my eyes, and those remind me even more of him. He had them, too.

_In my field of paper flowers._

_And candy clouds of lullaby._

_I lay inside myself for hours._

_And watch my purple sky fly over me._

_Ah, paper flowers._

_Ah, paper flowers._

And as hard as I try to keep the flowers remaining, the winter snow comes and kills them. So I've developed my own world of paper flowers. You can never break them.

But when I look out into the audience, tears are about to fall down my face. The one whom all these songs are based on? Yeah, he's here. And from the look on his face, he knows what they all mean.


	7. Call Me When You're Sober

I say a quick thank you to the crowd and the concert ends. I race backstage and he's there, along with Carlisle.

He walks over to me. "I had to be under parental supervision. I'm seventeen, you know. I'm not old enough to be back here alone."

There's a hint of a smile tugging at his perfect lips. I've kissed those lips before...

"Bella, 'Going Under?' Was that about James?"

I nod, still not sure if I should speak because this may be a hallucination. But I'm not doing anything dangerous. So it's probably real.

"And 'Hello' is about that day in the woods?"

Another nod to him.

"So 'Sweet Sacrifice' is telling yourself to move on?"

I nod to him again.

"What about 'Tourniquet?' You're cutting yourself off from the world?"

A nod comes from me again.

"Then 'Imaginary' is about creating a new world to live in."

I nod, but I'm sick of it now.

"And 'My Immortal' is-"

"Edward!" I cut him off. I can't even believe that I just said his name. "That's about you leaving me. When I first wrote the song, I called it Edward. But then I coded it. You're my immortal."

Tears that can't fall trace his eyes. "Bella, I'm sorry. Can you just give me another chance?"

"You mean you're coming back?"

"That's exactly what I mean."

I sigh. "How do I know that you're not going to do this all to me again?"

"Because I've learned that I can't live without you."

"I'm sorry, Edward. I don't think I can." And I walk past him and up to Carlisle.

"Any visits to the emergency room lately?" he asked.

I grin. "Of course."

"Right, dumb question." Then he lower his voice down to a whisper. "I get that you're mad, Bella. And I don't really know Edward's thoughts. That's his power. But just know that we're all here for you. Alice is still your friend."

"Is she here?" I ask excitedly.

"Yup!" I hear her soprano voice exclaim. She walking in with Esme.

She hugs me, and I don't mind the touch of her cold skin. I guess I was kind of used to it.

"Hey, Alice, there's some people that I want you to meet. Think you can get a disguise and come backstage with me?"

"Well, obviously! There's a drugstore right across the street. I'll go there and find some stuff."

Alice leaves and Esme wraps me in her arms. My second mom.

"It's so good to see you, honey."

"You too, Esme."

I notice Edward and Carlisle leave.

After a bit of small talk with Esme, Alice is back. She has a long blond wig and big sunglasses.

Esme smiles. "Aw, you look adorable, baby! I'll go meet up with your father and brother. Call me in fifteen minutes. I want you home in three hours at the most."

Alice nods and follows me.

"Okay, Bella, I love your wardrobe!" she says, excitement dripping throughout her voice.

I look down at my black dress. It goes to about my knees with different cuts. There's a black flower on the left side and ruffles begin at that point. I have black cowboy boots on. My necklace has black beads on a silver chain. I put on silver stud earrings for the show and a black bracelet made out of big beads. I'm wearing leggings with a charcoal floral pattern. Over my dress I have a red and blakc plaid shirt that's unbottoned (so you can see my beautiful dress!).

"And I love that you chose a long, black wig," Alice points out.

"Yeah, I guess I'm kind of on a Goth kick for clothes right now."

We're in the band room now.

"Terry, John, Rocky, Will-this is my best friend...Ally. Ally, these are my bandmates and friends Terry, John, Rocky, and Will."

Alice is trying not to laugh at the name I made up for her. I just took her name and twisted it a bit.

Once everyone's friends, I sit down and take out my songwriting book. I open to a new page.

_Don't cry to me,_

_If you loved me,_

_You would be here with me._

_You want me,_

_Come find me._

_Make up your mind._

That'll be the chorus. It's saying that he needs to make up his mind as to loving me or not.

_Should I let you fall?_

_Loose it all?_

_So maybe you can remember yourself._

_Can't keep believing,_

_We're only deceiving,_

_Ourselves and I'm sick of the lie._

_And you're too late._

It's too late to love me again. If you're saying that you love me, you're giving me a lie. And I'm sick of lies. You can't always believe what people say-it'll always trick you.

I write CHORUS, noting to sing the chorus again.

_Couldn't take the blame,_

_Sick with shame,_

_Must be exhausting to lose your own game._

You thought you could live without me, but apparently you can't. What game are you trying to play? Whatever it is, you're losing it.

_Selfishly hated,_

_No wonder you're jaded._

_You can't play the victim this time._

_And you're too late._

I make another note to sing the chorus after I sing this verse. This verse says that it was your fault for leaving me and that you can't take back your actions.

_You never call me when you're sober._

_You only want it 'cause it's over._

_Oh, it's over._

You only crave my love because our relationship ended. We can't go through this again. It's unhealthy.

I end the song with the chorus.

Everyone reads the song and applauds. "That'll be great to perform live!"

And I can't help but wonder...what will Edward think of it?

**I should say this: All songs are written and performed by Evanescence. Twilight is owned by Stephenie Meyer.**


	8. Lithium

I was getting ready to perform. Besides the band, Charlie, Jacob, and Alice were backstage, all in disguises, of course.

The concert went smoothly and we performed "Call Me When You're Sober."

_I've made up your mind._

The audience went crazy. And there was one face that stood out clearly, the one the song was revolved around.

Edward.

Backstage, he was waiting for me. "That was really good, Amy. About that guy...what was his name? Was it Edmund...Ed-something, right?"

I scowled at him. "I think we need to talk in private."

In my dressing room, he said, "The real reason I left you, Bella, was for your own safety. I swear, you can ask my family. But I guess it made you more unsafe...apparently, when vampires leave town, you find more ways to injure yourself. Motorcycles, Bella? Cliff diving? You? Oh, and did I mention walking down the middle of a street in Port Angeles with drunken guys?"

"How can you even say that?" I demanded. "You think I'm gonna believe that you left because you were worried about my safety?"

"I needed to protect you, Bella. I swear on my eternal life."

And for some reason, I believe him. But I don't want to admit it.

He smiles. "Just because I can't read your mind doesn't mean I don't know what you're thinking, Bella."

Of course he knows.

Ans he scoops me up in his arms and kisses me.

I've missed those perfect lips.

* * *

It's two hours before the concert, and I'm backstage with Edward and the band. Edward's disguised (though he's still hotter than ever) as a guy named Edwin.

"Now what are you going to write about, Amy?" Edward asked. "With all those wounds that won't seem to heal healed?"

I glared playfully at him. "I have an idea. You know how lithium gives you that fake happiness?"

"My dad can tell you anything you want about that."

"Okay, so he must have told you?"

"Yup."

I nod. "So every song I write is full of sorrow. What if I write a metaphor of a song? It's time for me to be happy, but I don't want that happiness to be fake and pushed on me."

Edward and the band all nod.

So I begin to write.

_Lithium, don't wann lock me up inside._

_Lithium, don't wann forget how it feels without lithium._

_I wann stay in love with my sorrow._

_Oh, but god, I wanna let it go._

No matter how much my sorrow has given my music, I'm ready to be happy. I _want_ to be happy.

_Come to bed don't make me sleep alone._

_Anything is better than to be alone._

_Never wanted it to be so cold._

_Just didn't drink enough to say you love me._

_I can't hold onto me._

_Wonder what's wrong with me._

Trust me, anything is better than being alone. I know from experience. I felt so cold; that's what sorrow did to me. What happened to me? What's wrong with me?

_Lithium, don't wanna lock me up inside._

_Lithium, don't wanna forget how it feels without lithium._

_I wann stay in love with my sorrow._

_I don't wanna let it lay me down this time._

_Drown my will to fly._

_Here in the darkness I know myself._

_Can't break free until I let it go._

_Let me go._

It's true that I know myself better in the darker times, but I need to break free and let go. I'm gonna fly to bliss.

_Darling, I forgive you after all._

_Anything is better than to be alone._

_And in the end I guess I had to fall._

_Always find my place among the ashes._

Edward's back, and I forgave him for the truth of what he did. I'm not alone anymore, and I'm ready to leave my depression.

_I can't hold onto me,_

_Wonder what's wrong with me._

_Lithium, don't wann lock me up inside._

_Lithium, don't wanna forget how it feels without lithium._

_I wanna stay in love with, mmmm._

_I'm gonna let it go._

And there it is. My happiness has returned and I've let my sorrow evaporate.

"That's beautiful, love," Edward whispers to me.

And I feel better.


	9. Everybody's Fool

**So I'm skipping ahead to post-Eclipse.**

"How you doing tonight, Seattle?" I screamed into the mic. A roar erupted through the audience as I got ready to sing the song about the battle with the newborns and...Victoria.

_Perfect by nature,_

_Icons of self-indulgence._

She thought since she was so perfect, so much stronger than me that she could kill me.

_Just what we all need,_

_More lies about a world that,_

_Never was and never will be._

_Have you no shame?_

_Don't you see me._

_You know you've got everybody fooled._

She tricked Riley so he would fight for her. She lied and put shame on herself. Dis she even see what she turned into? The monster that she had become?

_Look here, she comes now._

_Bow down and stare with wonder._

_Oh, how we love you._

_No flaws when you're pretending._

She made all those newborns and came into the clearing, thinking we'd just stare at her and she'd attack. Riley loved her, but little did he know that she was pretending...

_But now I know she,_

_Never was and never will be._

_You don't know how you betrayed me._

_And somehow you've got everybody fooled._

She betrayed Riley, and she fooled the newborns. They didn't have a chance.

_Without the mask,_

_Where will you hide?_

_Can't find yourself._

_Lost in your lies._

Once Edward had her captured, she couldn't hide anywhere, she couldn't run. She let herself get away in her lie.

_I know the truth now,_

_I know who you are,_

_And I don't love you anymore._

Everything that reminded me of that day I broke from any possible contact. I've learned the truth of the world: Battles will always go on.

_Never was and never will be,_

_You don't know how you betrayed me._

_And somehow you've got everybody fooled._

_Never was and never will be,_

_You're not real than you can't save me._

_And somehow now you're everybody's fool._

I couldn't hold myself together. I cried in fear, I cried for Edward, Jacob, Alice, Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Seth...I cried for Charlie, Renee, Phil, my human friends, because I might've never seen them again.

But I let that out now, and nothing's better than that.


	10. Bring Me to Life

**This is now post-Breaking Dawn.**

Taking the stage as a human and as a vampire was really no different. I could still sing my heart out, though my heart's a bit different now.

This song now is about when I just woke up from the change. We were going hunting and I didn't want to be a..._savage_, if that's what I'm talking about.

_How can you see into my eyes like open doors?_

_Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb._

Edward understands me so well. He knows everything that I've ever dreamed of telling him, and now he knows me as a vampire.

_Without a soul,_

_My spirit sleeping somewhere cold._

_Until you find it there and lead it back home._

I felt so helpless-how in the world was I supposed to hunt? He'd have to help.

And then the surprise in the song: Edward guest stars.

_**Wake me up!**_

_Wake me up inside._

_**I can't wake up!**_

_Wake me up inside._

**_Save me!_**

_Call me name and save me from the dark._

**_Wake me up!_**

_Bid my blood to run._

**_I can't wake up!_**

_Before I come undone._

**_Save me!_**

_Save me from the nothing I've become._

Make me see sense. Don't let me become a monster. Please.

_Now that I know what I'm without,_

_You can't just leave me._

_Breathe into me and make me real._

_Bring me to life._

Stay with me no matter what. Save me from myself.

The chorus again with Edward's vocals. It's amazing to have him on stage with me.

_Bring me to life._

**_I've been living a lie._**

**_There's nothing inside._**

_Free me tonight._

_Frozen inside without your touch,_

_Without your love, darling._

_Only you are the life among the dead._

He's why I'm living. He's saved me from death so many times. And now he's saved me as a vampire.

**_All of this time I can't believe I couldn't see,_**

**_Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me._**

_I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems,_

_Got to open my eyes to everything._

**_Without thought, without a voice, without a soul._**

_**Don't let me die here **(don't let me die here),_

_**There must be something more.**_

_Bring me to life._

I couldn't see what was right in front of me, what a vampire was capable of. And then I become one and put my daughter in danger, so I have to sneak away and and pray that I don't die of not knowing anything.

The chorus again, and we really put emphasis and feeling on this one.

**_I've been living a lie._**

**_There's nothing inside._**

_(Bring me to life.)_

_Bring me to life._

And that's exactly what Edward has done. And I'm proud of how far I've come as a vampire.


	11. Your Star

_I can't see your star._

_I can't see your star._

_Though I patiently waited bedside for the death of today._

_I can't see your star._

_The mechanical lights of Port Angeles frightened it away._

_And I'm alone now._

The battle with the Volturi had temporarily captured all light in my world. I felt so empty and alone when I casted my shield.

_Me and all I stood for,_

_We're wandering now._

_All in parts and pieces swim lonely._

_Find your own way out._

I was trying as hard as I can, yet it didn't feel like I was good enough.

_I can't see your star._

_I can't see your star._

_How can the darkness feel so wrong?_

I used to love the darkness. It was when Edward would come over and sneak into my room. But the fight turned that all backwards.

The powerful chorus comes around. I sing out what I feel.

_So far away._

_It's growing colder without your love._

_Why can't you feel me calling your name?_

_Can't break the silence._

_It's breaking me._

Although vampires can't feel the cold, I was surrounded in cold. It was eerily silent as they marched forward.

_All my fears turned to rage._

_And I'm alone now._

_Me and all I stood for,_

_We're wondering now._

_All in parts and pieces swim lonely._

_Find your own way out now._

_Yeah..._

It's time for battle.

_And nothing worth fighting for,_

_We're wandering now._

_All in parts and pieces swim lonely._

_Find your own way out._

The Volturi didn't deserve to have anything proved to them. But here we are now, all because we did.


	12. Even in Death

Immediately after I gave birth, I was dying. I was almost positive I was going to die. And these were my thougths to Edward.

_Give me a reason to believe that you're gone  
I see your shadow so I know they're all wrong  
Moonlight on the soft brown earth  
It leads me to where you lay  
They took you away from me but now I'm taking you home_

I was going to stay strong. I was going to keep Edward with me. And in order to do that I had to be strong. But I wasn't.

_I will stay forever here with you, my love  
The softly spoken words you gave me  
Even in death our love goes on_

I was dying, but these were promising words that I absolutely would have spoken to Edward.

_Some say I'm crazy for my love, Oh my love [my love]  
But no bonds can hold me from your side, Oh my love  
They don't know you can't leave me  
They don't hear you singing to me  
_

I knew that I wasn't gone. I believed in myself. Edward was still with me.

_I will stay forever here with you, my love  
The softly spoken words you gave me  
Even in death our love goes on  
And I can't love you, any more than I do_

He's helped me through so much. Speaking softly to me as he prays that I don't die.

_I will stay forever here with you, my love  
The softly spoken words you gave me  
Even in death our love goes on  
And I can't love you, any more than I do_

_People die, but real love is forever_

I gave into death, but I knew that our lvoe would last forever.

And that was when Edward bit me and saved me.


	13. Cloud Nine

During my transformation, this is what I felt. What was happening? Was I dying or coming to life again?

_If you wanna live, let live  
If you wanna go, let go  
I'm not afraid to dream  
To sleep, sleep forever  
I don't need to touch the sky  
I just want to feel that high  
And you refuse to lift me_

I guess that's sort of speaking to myself. What was happening to me? I took out my anger on me.

_Guess it wasn't real after all  
Guess it wasn't real all along  
[I'm all alone]  
_

Did he lie to me? There's no way that I'm a vampire.

_If I fall and all is lost  
It's where I belong_

I never was good enough for you. You deserved so much better than me.

_If you wanna live, let live  
If you wanna go, let go  
I'm never gonna be your sweet, sweet surrender_

Nothing in my life was going to hold me back.

_Guess it wasn't real after all  
Guess it wasn't real all along  
[I'm all alone]_

If I fall and all is lost  
No light to lead the way  
[Never thought that it would end up this way]  
Remember that all alone  
Is where I belong

I had been trapped in this world of darkness. Constantly surrounded.

_In a dream  
Will you give your love to me?  
Beg my broken heart to beat  
Save my life  
Change my mind_

I had been in a three day nightmare.

_If I fall and all is lost  
No light to lead the way  
[Never thought that it would end this way]  
Remember that all alone  
Is where I belong_

The crowd errupts into a thunder sound as they scream until their voices hurt.


	14. Haunted

All my vampire knowledge years have brought some sort of conflict on me. It's come to haunt me.

_Long lost words whisper slowly to me  
Still can't find what keeps me here  
When all this time I've been so hollow inside  
I know you're still there_

How did I ever live when James captured me?

_Watching me, wanting me  
I can feel you pull me down  
Fearing you, loving you  
I won't let you pull me down_

Laurent was about to kill me. I had loved vampires, but then they left and Laurent was here to kill me.

_Hunting you I can smell you alive  
Your heart pounding in my head_

Victoria creeped up, eager to kill, ready for anything.

_Watching me, wanting me  
I can feel you pull me down  
Loving me, taking me  
Holding me_

Edward and I would most definitely be seeing each other for the last time on the day of the Volturi fight.

_Watching me, wanting me  
I can feel you pull me down  
Fearing you, loving you  
I won't let you pull me down_

I've gone through a lot that will forever haunt me.


	15. The Only One

The Volturi had been so confident...so full of themselves...

_You know you're not the only one_

_When they all come crashing down - midflight  
You know you're not the only one  
When they're so alone  
They find a back door out of life  
You know you're not the only one  
_

You only think of yourselves. What about all those people that you fool and kill? They have lives, too, you know.

_We're all grieving  
Lost and bleeding_

Have some respect for others besides yourselves. There are other people out there in the world that have more knowledge than you. So what? Don't make them lose themselves, to grieve and bleed out everything that they are.

_All our lives  
We've been waiting  
For someone to call our leader  
All your lies  
I'm not believing  
Heaven shine a light down on me_

They call themselves leaders. Who'd believe that?

_So afraid to open your eyes, hypnotized  
You know you're not the only one  
Never understood this life  
And you're right I don't deserve  
But you know I'm not the only one_

I've done a lot of stupid things. But this time, it's you guys that have made the mistake.

_We're all grieving  
Lost and bleeding_

All our lives  
We've been waiting  
For someone to call our leader  
All your lies  
I'm not believing  
Heaven shine a light down on me

Don't look down  
Don't look into the eyes of the world beneath you  
Don't look down  
You'll fall down  
You'll become their sacrifice

They'll try to trick you. They'll attempt to make you fear them. Don't give in. Do your best.

_Right or wrong  
Can't hold on to the fear  
That I'm lost without you  
If I can't feel, I'm not mine  
I'm not real_

I'm trying as hard as I can to be strong, to hold my shield.

_All our lives  
We've been waiting  
For someone to call our leader  
All your lies  
I'm not believing  
Heaven shine a light down on me_

And I've now gotten out everything that I've needed to say.


	16. My Last Breath

_Hold on to me love._

_You know I can't stay long._

_All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid._

I've had so many near-death experiences as a human in Forks. And Edward has always been there with me.

_Can you hear me?_

_Can you feel me in your arms._

He's always held me and prayed that I'd be okay.

_Holding my last breath._

_Safe inside myself are all my thoughts of you._

_Sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight._

These words have gone through my head so many times.

_I'll miss the winter._

_A world of fragile things._

_Look for me in the white forest hiding in a hollow tree._

No matter what happened, I'd be there for him forever.

_I know you hear me._

_I can taste it in your tears._

That day in the ballet studio, he had held me and cried. I couldn't bare to see him cry...

_Holding my last breath._

_Safe inside myself are all my thoughts of you._

_Sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight._

And then when I woke up in the hospital, he was there. He had comforted me. The thoughts swarming in my head, all of him, had come to a hault. I held my breath as he kissed me softly, careful not to injure me further...

I let out a shaky breath as I wrapped up the song to the hum of the crowd.


	17. Like You

**Haven't done a disclaimer in a while, so here it is: Songs belong to Evanescence, characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

_Stay low, soft, dark, and dreamless  
Far beneath my nightmares and loneliness  
I hate me for breathing without you  
I don't want to feel anymore for you_

She would have been here if she was alive. I was in constant pain thinking of where she was. Dead, most likely.

_Grieving for you  
I'm not grieving for you  
Nothing real love can't undo  
And though I may have lost my way  
All paths lead straight to you_

She helped me through so much. I was no longer my once awkward self. She helped me grow into a stronger person with her great personality.

_I long to be like you  
Lie cold in the ground like you_

She had to be dead. She'd be here if she wasn't.

_Halo, blinding wall between us  
Melt away and leave us alone again  
The humming, haunted somewhere out there  
I believe our love can see us through in death_

We'd all die soon. I'd meet with her again.

_I long to be like you  
Lie cold in the ground like you  
There's room inside for two  
And I'm not grieving for you  
I'm coming for you_

Just wait. I'm coming. I'll be with you soon.

_You're not alone  
No matter what they told you  
You're not alone  
I'll be right beside you forevermore_

We've done so much, been through everything...

_I long to be like you sis  
Lie cold in the ground like you did  
There's room inside for two  
And I'm not grieving for you  
And as we lay in silent bliss  
I know you remember me_

I know you'll remember me, Alice. You're always going to be my sister. And as the Volturi creep forward, my death is coming. We'll be best friends again. Sisters.

_I long to be like you  
Lie cold in the ground like you  
There's room inside for two  
And I'm not grieving for you  
I'm coming for you_

No matter what would happen...

And that day nearly took our lives. And then she came and she was alive...

I see her in the audience, cheering. My best friend's there. I couldn't be happier.


	18. Anywhere

_Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me  
And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free  
I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you  
And at sweet night, you are my own  
Take my hand_

He'd sneak into my room every night.

_We're leaving here tonight  
There's no need to tell anyone  
They'd only hold us down  
So by the morning light  
We'll be half way to anywhere  
Where love is more than just your name_

Someday we'd be able to be together and we wouldn't have to hide.

_I have dreamt of a place for you and I  
No one knows who we are there  
All I want is to give my life only to you  
I've dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore  
Let's run away, I'll take you there_

We're perfect for each other. That night at his house was amazing. He gave me a ring.

_We're leaving here tonight  
There's no need to tell anyone  
They'd only hold us down  
So by the morning light  
We'll be half way to anywhere  
Where no one needs a reason_

The perfect little couple.

_Forget this life  
Come with me  
Don't look back you're safe now  
Unlock your heart  
Drop your guard  
No one's left to stop you_

We'd be carefree.

_Forget this life  
Come with me  
Don't look back you're safe now  
Unlock your heart  
Drop your guard  
No one's left to stop you now_

Our love will last forever.

_We're leaving here tonight  
There's no need to tell anyone  
They'd only hold us down  
So by the morning light  
We'll be half way to anywhere  
Where love is more than just your name_

His love for me and my love for him is undying.

I look from the stage to him. He's backstage with Em and Jazz. We share a moment of something special. Love.


	19. Farther Away

_I took their smiles and I made them mine  
I sold my soul just to hide the light  
And now I see what I really am  
A thief, a whore, and a terror._

I had always thought that I was in the way of the Cullens' lives. It seemed as if they always had to come to my rescue. I was a terrible person.

_I run to you  
(And run away from this hell)  
Call out your name  
(Giving up, giving in)  
I see you there  
(Still you are)  
Farther away_

Why would they ever change me into a vampire? Why would they ever want to have me around for eternity?

_I'm numb to you  
Numb and deaf and blind  
You give me all but the reason why  
I reach but I feel only air at night  
Not you, not love, just nothing_

I really felt like a horrible person. I was so stupid.

_I run to you  
(And run away from this hell)  
Call out your name  
(Giving up, giving in)  
I see you there  
(Still you are)  
Farther away_

I was such a fool. Such an idiot, a moron.

_Tried to forget you  
But without you  
I feel nothing_

And when they left, I was so greedy that I wanted them back.

_Don't leave me here  
By myself  
I can't breathe_

Come back. They did eventually. I was so selfish.  
_  
Farther away  
Farther away  
Farther away  
Farther away  
Farther away_

I was drifting far.

But now I know that I was foolish for thinking that. I couldn't have a better family.


	20. All That I'm Living For

_All that I'm living for  
All that I'm dying for  
All that I can't ignore alone at night_

My family. That's what I'm living for.

_I can feel the night beginning  
Separate me from the living  
Understanding me  
After all I've seen  
Piecing every thought together  
Find the words to make me better  
If I only knew how to pull myself apart_

Of course I had always been different, but now as a vampire, I was completely different.

_All that I'm living for  
All that I'm dying for  
All that I can't ignore alone at night  
All that I'm wanted for  
Although I wanted more  
Lock the last open door  
My ghosts are gaining on me_

I had gotten so much more mature since moving to Forks. My family changed my maturity level for me. I couldn't be any more grateful to them than I am now.

_I believe that dreams are sacred  
Take my darkest fears and play them  
Like a lullaby  
Like a reason why  
Like a play of my obsessions  
Make me understand the lesson  
So I'll find myself  
So I won't be lost again_

Everything that I am now is because of Edward. I feel like the luckiest person on the planet.

_All that I'm living for  
All that I'm dying for  
All that I can't ignore alone at night  
All that I'm wanted for  
Although I wanted more  
Lock the last open door  
My ghosts are gaining on me_

I've grown as a person.

_Guess I thought I'd have to change the world  
To make you see me  
To be the one  
I could have run forever  
But how far would I have come  
Without mourning your love?_

When he came back, my tears turned happy. He gave me another reason to live.

_All that I'm living for  
All that I'm dying for  
All that I can't ignore alone at night  
All that I'm wanted for  
Although I wanted more  
Lock the last open door  
My ghosts are gaining on me_

Then our little miracle came. Renesmee gave me another reason to live.

_Should it hurt to love you?  
Should I feel like I do?  
Should I lock the last open door  
My ghosts are gaining on me_

And as I stare out at all our screamin fans, I beam. I'm definitely one of the luckiest people in the world.

* * *

**Okay, I need suggestions for more songs of Evanescence to do!**

**Please review!**


	21. Breathe No More

_I've been looking in the mirror for so long  
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side  
All the little pieces falling shatter  
Shards of me too sharp to put back together_

I never believed that I was good enough for Edward. I was an insignifigant little human. Rosalie caused me to believe that.

_Too small to matter  
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces  
If I try to touch her_

I was trying to be someone that I wasn't.

_And I bleed  
I bleed  
And I breathe  
I breathe no more_

I've become a vampire, proving that I'm good enough. I have no need to breathe. I can release my previous thoughts.

_Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirit's well  
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child  
Oh! lie to me, convince me that I've been sick forever  
And all of this will make sense when I get better_

Rosalie tricked me. She was jealous and needed to make me feel like I was nothing.

_But I know the difference  
Between myself and my reflection  
I just can't help but to wonder  
Which of us do you love?_

Was I two different people? Bella to Edward and Bella to everyone else?

_So I bleed  
I bleed  
And I breathe  
I breathe no-_

_Bleed  
I bleed  
And I breathe  
I breathe  
I breathe  
I breathe no more_

But now that I've become a vampire, all my thoughts of not being good enough have bled out. Rosalie helped me write this song. I was very impressed with how she could look down on herself like that but still be herself. It reminded me of how great it is to be in this family.

* * *

**One more chapter left! This chapter is dedicated to Miss Stacy Sea Cullen because she requested this song!**

**Evanescence owns songs, Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight Saga**

**Thank you!**


	22. Good Enough

I can't even believe it. I wrote a happy song.

_Under your spell again  
I can't say no to you  
Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand  
I can't say no to you_

Edward is the reason I wrote this song, this love song. I've never written anything like it before.

_Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly  
Now I can't let go of this dream  
I can't breathe but I feel good enough  
I feel good enough for you_

He's just everything I've ever wanted.

_Drink up sweet decadence  
I can't say no to you  
And I've completely lost myself  
and I don't mind  
I can't say no to you_

I love him so much. No matter what I do, he makes me feel good about myself.

_Shouldn't let you  
conquer me completely  
Now I can't let go of this dream  
Can't believe that I feel  
Good enough_

I've never felt this way before.

_I feel good enough  
It's been such a long time coming,  
but I feel good_

After everything we've been through, I feel good enough.

_And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall  
Pour real life down on me  
Cause I can't hold on to anything this  
Good enough  
Am I good enough  
for you to love me too?_

It's been quite a love story, and now it's time for the happily ever after.

_So take care what you ask of me  
Cause I can't say no_

I love you, Edward.

The crowd cheers at my happy song. I grin from my seat at the piano, my gaze on Edward, who is holding Renesmee, our little miracle, backstage with the rest of our family, including Charlie, Renee, and Phil.

I truly feel good enough.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed the story!**

**Evanescence rocks! The songs belong to them!**

**The Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me, obviously!**

**Just to clear some things up, Bella's career is not over. But the goal of the story was to create a depressing atmosphere, and once I got there, take a left instead of a right and bring in "Good Enough." Something happy!**

**Some trivia-the title, "Falling Through Open Doors," is my way of combining "Fallen" and "The Open Door," the two albums Evanescence came out with. Can't wait for their future music!**

**Thank you so much for reading!**


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